This is my first blog in I don't know how long.
I didn't want to blog until now.
I feel like all anyone thinks I do is complain so these past couple of weeks I haven't confided in anybody about how miserable I am here.
The people are terrible!
No godly people in sight.
I have fallen big time and I don't know how to pick myself back up.
Dive right back in by transferring to JBU?
Or stick it out here and try and change people?
I don't believe anymore I can change people.
I'm always that kid that nobody ever has anything to say about.
I am just there.
I don't fit in anywhere.
I talk to people when I am around them,
but they don't want to hang out with me.
I have asked people to do stuff and gotten turned down.
I just want a best friend.
Someone that I am always around and can talk to about anything.
I know I have the friemily,
but you guys are busy with senior year and I'm not going to bother you with my problems.
This is something I need to figure out on my own.
Afterall I am the one who chose to leave.
I am glad I did.
By the lack of communication from people back home,
I can tell I am not missed too greatly.
I went over a week without a single person texting me or communicating with me.
It sucks terribly.
I feel like I am all alone in life again.
This is not how my life was suppose to turn out.
I didn't overcome depression to fall back into it again.
I am going to transfer to JBU.
I cannot take it here any longer.
I need to get further away from my old self.
I won't be missed here.
If I don't like JBU,
so be it.
I will graduate and move on with my life.
At least I will be able to praise God there.
Anyone who claims to be a Christian here doesn't act like it.
I can't save anybody from going to hell,
it's obvious I am not influential.
I will just be that person in the background I guess.
Maybe in heaven I won't be invisible.
