Insignificance

Sick of this feeling,
the one I always have.
This voice in my head,
telling me where it is I've been.
Have I screwed up?
Yeah, everyone has.
But it seems I'm the only one who must regret,
regret the person I was.
Am?
Maybe I haven't changed.
It may just be a lie to help me sleep at night.
But I can't sleep now,
because I hear the voice.
The voice of insignificance.
"You'll never amount to anything,
never change.
You're stuck in this life,
caught in sin.
God doesn't want you,
won't accept you for who you truly are.
He doesn't want you to succeed,
or influence.
All He wants is you to feel insignificant."
I'm sick of this feeling.
Hearing who I am is just ridiculous.
Sick of being told I can't make a difference.
My goals are too high,
and I'm not thin.
Nobody wants to listen.

Listen to me,
I'm begging to be heard!
Sick of finishing in last, second, or third.
I want to be at the top,
finish first because I jumped the gun.
Sick of feeling like my good isn't good enough,
and not having fun.
I'm always stressed out,
either with school, friends, or work.
With all of them I just feel so insecure.
I'm never the best, the smartest, or the most concerned.
All I am is the one over in the corner.
The corner of life where I'm yearning to be heard.
I scream out,
try to be seen,
but I'm not heard or seen because I'm just me.
Nothing spectacular,
nothing of worth,
just average.
Average grades,
average looks,
and average personality.
I'm not of use,
I'm like almost everyone else.

Say that I am going to change the world,
change it how?
What to I have to bring?
Anything better than John Smith of Jane Doe?
Original life story?
I don't think so.
Everyone says we are different,
but I'm the same.
Same as all those who are unknown.
I want to be heard.
I want to show,
show the world what lives inside of me.
I have so many hopes, dreams, and concerns.
They stay with me,
nobody else knows.
Nobody wants to hear the bad,
the world is a crummy place.
I want to fix it,
but I can't alone.
I need a voice that tells me I'm wrong.
A voice that says:
"You are okay,
you're good enough.
I can use you as you are.
I've brought you this far,
I have a cause.
Just trust me,
and let your dreams be shown.
What I want you to be you will,
but what I don't you won't.
As for average, what's that?
A measure of worth?
Everyone is worth something,
and you are worth so much.
You may be young,
you may be weak.
Just lay your head down and think.
Think of the things you know I have done.
I have given you life,
and can take it away.
But you still live today.
Why is that?
Is it because I forgot?
Forgot to let you go?
No, you are alive,
just so you know,
to do great things and let my light shine through.
Matthew Kalani, you know I want you.
Insignificance is a waste of your time,
it is not from above.
I have great plans for you that come from love.
So let it go and begin to work.
Work on your life and focus on school,
you are smarter than you think.
Stop being silent,
except around me.
Share your thoughs and ideas,
tell people how you feel.
The only way I can use you if you are willing.
You don't understand,
that I know.
Don't try to figure me out,
just trust.
I have your life,
It is in good hands.
Lift up yours and praise me,
the Great I Am.