Welcome to My Life

Welcome to my life is a song by simple plan.
It is a great song.
I used to think it was the story of my life.
"Do you ever feel like breaking down?"
Yes I did every day.
"Do you ever feel out of place."
All the time!
I felt like I was alone for such a long time!
"Like somehow you just don't belong,
and noone understands you."
By this time in the song I was usually crying like no other.
Simple plan understood me so well,
as did Avril Lavigne!
I was so depressed and lonely then.
I couldn't even stand myself then.
As for God,
I faked being a Christian.
I was caught up in my sin.
But no longer!
That person is a stranger to me,
that wasn't me.
I see that now.
I have changed so much this summer;
for the better.
I am happy and loving life!
I was so excited for college,
but now I am not wanting to leave my friends,
they aren't even friends anymore.
They are my family.
I love my family!
And I have never loved before.
I like myself.
I am a great person.
I know it is all because of God.
I am ready to live for Him;
go out and change the world!
So bring it ob world!
God is on my side and I am ready to face you!
God loves me and that is all I need! :)
Peace out girl scouts!

Thee Davis Family

So I got back from tristate this week.
I had an amazing time!
Talk about awesome people and crazy good worship.
I miss it already!
I made a new family and they are great!
We are thee Davis family!
I don't care what you do in life,
just don't mess with my family!
God loves...don't forget it!
Peace & love! :)

Chasing Lions

You know what?
I am done trying.
If you don't want to be a part of my life then leave!
I am so done with fake friends.
I go to college soon,
and I may seem like a loser who has no friends,
but I don't care!
I am sick of chasing after people.
You wanna leave my life do it,
you'll do us both a favor!
I am not chasing after people anymore and trying to mend old "friendships."
If you were really my friend you wouldn't just walk away.
Especially when I was honest and a good friend to you.
Be who you wanna be,
I don't want to care.
Stay out of my life,
and I will do my best at doing the same.
Truth is,
I love and care about you,
all of my friends.
But most don't feel the same.
So go ahead and leave.
I will be gone in 5 weeks anyway.
We have changed.
And I don't like who you have become.
Walk away.
I would be less stupid chasing a lion,
then trying again with you.
So hasta la vista!
Best of luck!
Now get the F away from me forever,
you suck!
Peace.

God and Tears

All I want to do right now is curl up in a ball,
listen to some music,
and bawl my eyes out.
God should be all I ever need,
but it is so hard not to want other things.
I am so sick of being alone, single, mono, uno,
or anything else you want to call it.
Is it so bad that I want someone to talk to late at night,
who will talk back.
Does it make me a bad person because I want someone who is more than just a best friend?
Someone who loves me unconditionally and I love back.
Someone who will hold me at night,
and tell me everything will be okay.
Someone who doesn't want anything physical,
but a loving, spiritually and emotionally connected relationship.
I honestly don't think I will ever,
or even can have that type of relationship.
I know God loves me and is there,
but I just want someone here now to care about me.
As much as I have cared for the people I have liked.
I thought I knew them,
but they have all changed.
In six weeks there is no hope of them being in my life again.
I miss them already,
but I am nothing to them.
I am not anyone to anybody.
I want to leave so badly,
but yet I don't.
I don't because I don't wanna find out they never cared.
I can't take the pain of having to find that out.
What if I am not liked at college?
Do I even know who I am to be able to be me?
I don't want to be likes for someone that isn't me.
But I don't know if I can be the me I think I am and still be a Christian.
I will still love God,
but others will constantly tell me I don't.
I didn't choose this,
that I know of.
I don't fall for who I do on purpose.
But some people won't give me the time of day for me to explain that to them.
I am already torn apart by what they say,
and they don't even know.
I just want a relationship which is basically a best friendship.
But God gets to choose if and when that happens.
Not me, and certainly not you.
How I feel hurts,
but I know God feels my pain.
For now it is just me, God, and these tears.
Peace.

Can I Get A Little Change?

I've found a lot changes after you graduate high school.
Who you hang out with and what you do.
What you talk about and who you become.
I have changed a lot since I graduated,
at least my attitude has.
I don't get upset at the small things,
which is great;
except I don't get upset at all.
I feel like I am holding everything in.
But I am not upset,
and I don't understand why.
Could this possibly be happiness brewing?
Let's hope so because that is something this kid desperately needs!
I remember getting upset just when people wouldn't text back.
But now it doesn't matter as much.
Even today I was the third wheel,
and I was upset for awhile;
but now I am over it.
It wasn't their fault I was left out,
I stayed out of the conversation on purpose.
I don't wanna hear what they talk about;
nor do I want to see them in that light.
They are both good friends;
I'd just rather not hang with just the two of them again.
My friends have changed a lot lately;
which sucks a lot!
They make bad decisions and I cannot do a thing about it.
I just need to take the advice of a good friend and not worry about them, but instead myself.
I will become a good Christian and live the life God wants me to.
I cant make other people's decisions;
but maybe my outlook on life can influence them...?
Who knows...nobody but God.
Peace and love my brethren!