If Only "I'm Sorry" Was Good Enough

I doubt anyone will even read this. Why would they? I don't blame anyone for being mad at me. I said things I didn't mean and tried to push people away. Looks like it finally worked, huh? I don't even know how to say I'm sorry for offending people. I guess I'll just explain the context behind the things I said. I didn't direct the comment about those who stay around here at you guys. I was ticked off that I was being talked about because Jordyn tweeted about me walking. It was directed at her and those in the community who have always looked down at me and my family. I know you guys have tried to listen, I'm just not a good communicator. Which explains the current situation. I appreciate that you guys let me come over and helped me out. It just made me feel pathetic having to go to you guys. I'm so concerned what people think about me. Which is why I'm not honest. I understand that what I said was hurtful, and I'm sorry. This is a terrible I'm sorry, I know. I just am not sure that I really want to mend this. Part of me doesn't anyway. It's not fair for me to lie to you guys and pretend to be better than I am. I don't have a horse, and if I did I would be very low on it. I have done some terrible things that I don't want anyone to know about. I act like I am a "good kid" because I know that I am hiding A LOT. I'm not going to be honest about these things. I don't want to be looked at differently. I'm sorry for upsetting everyone. I hope you can forgive me. Peace.